Author: Frankie Faust

Well, this is just ridiculous. I don’t know what Six Flags Magic Mountain is thinking, hosting a Halloween event during Spring Break. Don’t they know that Halloween is in October? This Scream Break after-hours haunt event they’re promoting just sounds like a nightmare to me. Who wants to encounter ghouls and monsters when they’re trying to enjoy their vacation? And what’s with the sangria blood bags and syringe jello shots during cocktail hour? That just sounds gross. And don’t even get me started on the Tacos & Beer Fest. Sure, the food might be tasty, but what does that have…

So Universal Studios Hollywood has added this new Super Nintendo World to the park. It features a ride based on the “Mario Kart: Bowser’s Challenge” game, interactive activities, dining options, and shopping. And let’s not forget the Power-Up Band wristbands they’re trying to sell you. The “Mario Kart: Bowser’s Challenge” ride is supposed to be fast-paced like the game, but it’s actually slow-moving. The technology blending augmented reality with projection mapping is impressive, but the slow pace of the ride is just snooze-inducing. The dining options are overpriced, and the merchandise is just more stuff to add to your collection…

Universal Parks & Resorts, the people behind that overhyped Halloween Horror Nights, have announced they’re bringing their crap to Las Vegas. They’re calling it a “brand-new permanent horror experience.” Give me a break. It’s just their usual library of classic horror films mixed with today’s subpar tales, all dressed up in some fancy, immersive experiences that turn into bars at night. This is the first time they’ve tried this outside their theme parks and it’s supposed to deliver the thrills that their fans love. But who cares about that? They’re also promising updated experiences, seasonal events, and merchandise. Yawn. This…