ANAHEIM, CA – Disney’s new Toontown attraction has conservative groups all in a tizzy, as they grapple with the latest addition to the theme park: a set of rainbow-colored slides designed for children. Part of Goofy’s How-To-Play Yard, the slides have sparked outrage among certain factions, who claim Disney is promoting a liberal agenda by using colors they claim are “too bright” and “too inclusive.”
“Disney has crossed a line with these rainbow slides,” said Harold Tightlips, leader of the conservative group, “Parents Against Colorful Playgrounds” (PACP). “Our children are being indoctrinated into accepting all colors, including the controversial indigo. It’s a slippery slope, and we won’t stand for it.”
The uproar began after Disney released promotional images showcasing the new Toontown attraction. Images of children gleefully sliding down vibrant chutes of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet have prompted a wave of backlash from conservative circles.
“Why can’t Disney stick to wholesome, all-American colors like red, white, and blue?” asked PACP spokesperson, Karen McAngry. “I mean, what’s next? A ride featuring a multi-cultural cast of animated characters? Oh, wait…”
PACP members have been protesting outside Disneyland, armed with picket signs and an assortment of gray-scale crayons, urging Disney to “take a stand against kaleidoscopic chaos.” Some have even proposed boycotting the entertainment conglomerate, vowing to only watch reruns of black-and-white television shows until the slides are repainted.
In response to the controversy, a Disney spokesperson chuckled before offering a statement: “We find it amusing that anyone would be upset over colorful slides, which are intended to bring joy to children. The colors are merely a reflection of the world around us, and we are committed to creating magical experiences for everyone.”
Despite the protests, children visiting Toontown have been oblivious to the controversy and continue to enjoy the slides with enthusiastic abandon. “I like the rainbow slides,” said little Timmy, aged five, before racing up the steps to slide down for the umpteenth time. “I don’t know why the grown-ups are so mad.”
As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: in a world filled with color, perhaps the most important hue we should focus on is the one that brings a smile to a child’s face.
